Kis-My-Camping [Oneshot]

[h_itoshi]

Title: Kis-My-Camping
Fandom: Kis-My-Ft2
Pairing(s): Mentions of Nikaido/Senga, Yokoo/Fujigaya and... probably Miyata/Tamamori
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 6912
Summary: Kisumai goes on a camping trip where they learn never to leave Kitayama with the food, always to bring an extra pair of pants and that Koki-senpai's ghost stories are the scariest.
Notes: All the crack haha. Been writing this on and off since summer when justironic pretty much showered me with ideas such as "Tama should eat dandelions" and "Nisen gets lost in the woods" lol.

”You know what you should do as a group? Go camping together.” Sho suggests with a small, hesitant smile after both Fujigaya and Kitayama have calmed down from their heated discussion. It all started with an argument about hairpins that was just turning serious, Nikaido and Senga betting on the winner of the fight when Sho happened to walk by. “We did once, and it was really cosy. Raises your team spirit.”

And since nobody tells senpai no, in any aspect, Kis-My-Ft2 find themselves in their dressing room later, planning a camping trip.

“It'll be fun, we can have a fire and tell ghost stories!” Nikaido says excitedly, and Senga's face scrunches up in worry.

“But no scary ones Nika.” He says carefully, putting a hand on Nikaido's arm to get his attention, which he always has anyway.

“What's the point if they're not scary?” Nikaido argues with a frown, clearly not thinking about that he'll be just as scared as Senga.

“I want a pink tent, or I'm not going!” Fujigaya announces, arms crossed in displeasure at this whole idea. “Preferably leoprint.”

“You'd get your mom in pink leoprint if you could.” Kitayama rolls his eyes and Fujigaya's frown deepens.

“Now now, that's the kind of behaviour that got us here.” Yokoo says, unamused, before turning to Fujigaya. “And Taisuke, we already have a tent big enough for us all, and it's green. We're not dyeing it for your sake.”

“Woho!” Nikaido exclaims at the color.

“Get yourself a pink leoprint sleeping bag?” Miyata suggests helpfully, half serious, but Fujigaya doesn't seem opposed to the idea.

“Okay guys, cut the crap and let's get down to what we really need to talk about.” Kitayama breaks in seriously. “What are we eating?”

“Food.” Tamamori says evasively before Yokoo can start to read off the list he's already prepared.

“No insects or grass or something?” Kitayama asks, still too serious to laugh at. Fujigaya pales at the thought of eating insects.

“No, food.” Yokoo agrees.

“Good.” Kitayama says firmly, leaning back in his chair, apparently done with his involvement in the planning.

It's mainly Yokoo and Mitaya who discuss the logistics, with occasional ambitious suggestions from Nikaido and Senga and vivid complaints from Fujigaya.

~*~

“Ohh, this is nice!” Senga exclaims as they reach the camping site they'd chosen, after about an hour of walking.

It's a grassy, flat part of a hillside with some trees, a small river close by along with a forest.

“Fucking finally.” Fujigaya mutters, dropping his backpack on the grass and lies down next to it, throwing an arm over his eyes with a groan.

“My feet hurts.” Tamamori whines and sits down next to Fujigaya, glaring at his shoes.

“I tried to tell you not to take those shoes.” Miyata says softly as he crouches before Tamamori's feet. “Want some massage?”

Yokoo glances at Tamamori's converse once, purses his lips, and then directs Senga and Nikaido to start unpacking the tent.

“Maybe.” Tamamori grumbles reluctantly.

“You'll definitely become a curling dad if you ever get kids.” Kitayama ruffles Miyata's hair when he passes him, then puts down his own backpack to help with the tent.

Miyata just grins as he unlaces Tamamori's shoes while Tamamori calls him names out of habit.

“Watta, I think this stick is broken.” Nikaido calls to Yokoo, who's unpacking the tins of food that nobody wanted to entrust Kitayama. He brandishes a tent peg that's folded in two with a spring lock in the middle. “It's too short.”

“No, Nika, here...” Senga quickly comes over to unfold the tent peg, showing Nikaido the magic of engineering.

Nikaido watches with wide eyes, before turning to look at Senga in wonder.

Yokoo rolls his eyes and tells Kitayama to be more helpful instead of double over laughing at Nikaido, before walking over to where Tamamori and Fujigaya are still lying on the grass. “You two should help you know.”

Tamamori ignores him in favour of enjoying Miyata's enthusiastic foot massage, and Fujigaya barely opens his eyes under his fountain bangs. “But Watta~”

“No, we're supposed to do this together, now help or you're sleeping outside where the wolves might take you.” Yokoo says firmly, making up the wolves, but it's efficient. Fujigaya flies up at the prospect of sleeping outside, and Tamamori sits up, grumbling, and starts putting his shoes back on, shoving Miyata away from his feet.

“Help the kids with the tent.” Yokoo says, and then returns to sorting the food tins.

“What are you guys even doing?” Tamamori stares at the pile of metal sticks, seeming in disbelief that he's supposed to make them into a tent.

“We're working on it, I have the instructions here.” Kitayama says, waving a paper that he turns upside down a few times before settling for a way he thinks looks correct.

“This one-” He picks up one of the longest pegs. “Should fit with that.” He points at the one Nikaido still admires in Senga's hand.

“No!” Fujigaya protests. “I am not taking orders from you, I want another team-leader.”

“I could be!” Miyata offers, but Kitayama only hands the paper to Fujigaya.

“You do it then.”

Fujigaya tries to read it for a minute before declaring he's too hot for this shit anyway, throws the paper back at Kitayama and heads over to whine to Yokoo.

Kitayama picks up where he left off and starts directing the youngest ones to put the pieces together.

It goes surprisingly smoothly, only a few disturbances of Nikaido poking Senga in inappropriate places at inappropriate times, nearly making the whole tent collapse.

“Good job guys. I'm just gonna go inside to check when you fix the canvas okay?” Kitayama says in his soccer coach voice as Nikaido and Miyata struggles to get the canvas over the first set of pegs.

Kitayama ducks inside the tent that is far from finished, and his small form disappears in the sea of wrinkled canvas still on the ground.

Senga just shrugs. “Tama, don't space out, you're supposed to pull this!”

It takes them another fifteen minutes to get the tent set, and Yokoo comes over to praise them.

“Well done, I'm impressed. And... Where's Mitsu?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

Senga's eyes widen in concern while Fujigaya mutters something about “hope the wolves ate him”, before hurrying inside the tent.

It's quiet for a second before Senga comes out with a mortified face. “Miyacchi, did I just see a body pillow with Tama's face on it?”

At that, everyone rushes to get into the tent, where they find Kitayama asleep among their packing, hugging an otaku body pillow of some anime girl in bikini. The only thing is that it has a magazine cut out of Tamamori's face stuck to it with scotch tape.

Nikaido starts laughing and Fujigaya snorts unattractively. Tamamori's face is pale as he turns to Miyata with clenched fists.

“Miyacchi what the hell?!” He yells.

“Why does everyone assume it's mine?” Miyata asks, sounding hurt. When nobody buys it, he adds sheepishly: “I like your smile?”

Tamamori growls something and the discussion is on.

“I guess I just happened to bring it instead of my sleeping bag.” Miyata says innocently as answer to the question 'Why is it HERE?!'. “... Since I don't have one, can I share with you Tama-chan?”

Tamamori only mutters, face red, and goes to shove at Kitayama with his foot to wake him up.

“The fuck.” Kitayama slurs as he wakes, hugging the Tama-pillow even tighter.

“Now, can we continue?” Yokoo crosses his arms, but can't quite hide his smile at the Tama-pillow. He is less amused when he sees that Kitayama's sleeping right on the ground and that his clothes are a bit dirty from it.

“What else is there to do?” Fujigaya asks sourly, not interested in doing any more work than his minute as tent-raising-team-leader.

“Fetch some wood, get water, fix the sleeping arrangements.” Yokoo lists on his fingers. “I suggest you, Miyacchi and Tama go to get the water. The rest of us will fix the packing and beds.”

“Why us?” Fujigaya whines, almost looking ready to stomp his foot.

“Because if I sent Nisen, do you think we'd get any water back here?” Yokoo gives Fujigaya his mother-knows-best look and Fujigaya gives in.

The arrangement works at first, but it takes Kitayama about five minutes to get kicked out since he only falls asleep on whatever they lay out on the grass.

Nikaido laughs for two minutes straight at the fact that Fujigaya got himself a pink leoprint sleeping bag, and at Tamamori's pillow with cute yellow chickens on it, and gets himself kicked out as well.

He finds Kitayama outside eyeing the tins of food, and lights up.

“Oh tins! I'm really good at opening those you know.” He says proudly.

“... Yeah, aren't everyone?” Kitayama raises an eyebrow.

Nikaido frowns. “I'm the best. I just learned and I've been practising a lot. Here, I'll show you.”

He picks up the tool from Yokoo's open bag and starts opening a tin of conserved pineapple, and Kitayama suddenly seems more interested in what he's doing.

“Looking good huh?” Nikaido asks when he hands Kitayama the tin to admire his handiwork. It's so much fun that he continues with the next. And the next.

He just really likes that part where the lid says pop and comes off entirely. He's so absorbed in his task that he doesn't notice someone standing before him until he hears Yokoo clear his throat, and when he looks up, the older looks exasperated.

“What... Are you two doing?” He sighs, as if talking to a dog who never learns not to take his socks.

Nikaido blinks as he looks up and puts down the tool. “I open tins?”

“Yeah, I can see that. And Mitsu, what the hell?”

Nikaido looks over to see Kitayama with a pair of chopsticks guiltily in a tin of mushrooms. When he looks down he also sees that all the tins he's opened are either empty or half empty.

“... Nika gave me food. It was screaming for me to eat it.” Kitayama explains calmly and Yokoo groans.

“I can't believe this! Can you believe this?!” He turns to Senga, whose eyes widen in shock at being asked for his opinion, but Yokoo turns back to Nikaido and Kitayama. “You're both like three year olds, that's all our food you know?!”

Kitayama shrugs. “Not like Taipi and Tama was gonna eat anyway?”

“Just get up.” Yokoo snaps and they both rise while Senga tries to hide his laughter.

“You.” Yokoo clasps Nikaido's shoulder. “Go with Ken-chan and get some wood for the fire tonight okay?”

Nikaido nods and grabs Senga's arm, happy to get away alone with him. “Come on!”

“And you!” They hear Yokoo yell at Kitayama. “Are gonna get it bad, now clean this place up!”

“Yokoo's pretty scary when he's angry.” Senga mumbles, sounding a little frightened as he follows Nikaido down the hill.

“He's only angry with Mitsu though, I didn't do anything wrong.” Nikaido says in a comforting voice, and Senga is on the verge of pointing out the flaws in that statement, but decides against it.

They manage to get down the hill without either of them falling, it's pretty steep after all, and finds themselves on the brink of the forest.

“C'mon Kenpi, we were supposed to gather wood.” Nikaido says loudly when Senga stops, and walks straight into the forest without even looking for a path to follow.

Senga sees plenty of sticks they could use for a fire, but says nothing about it and follows Nikaido instead.

----

Yokoo supervises Kitayama's cleaning with arms crossed when the three water-bringers return. Fujigaya and Tamamori both carry two PET-bottles with water, while Miyata's struggling with the two big cans he sent with them.

Yokoo frowns. “That doesn't look very fair.” He comments, and Kitayama takes this as an opportunity to look up, and starts laughing.

“Miyacchi offered.” Tamamori says after a confused glance between Yokoo and Miyata like he can't see anything wrong with this picture.

They all set the water down, and Fujigaya sits down next to Kitayama on the grass with a princess-like sigh, claiming he's done working for the day.

Tamamori picks out his phone from his pocket, even though he has no signal whatsoever, and starts blipping around on it. Only Miyata still seems interested in their survival as he frowns and looks at the tins Kitayama has gathered in a plastic bag.

“What's that?” He asks.

“Kitamitsu ate all our food.” Yokoo says, and he can't keep the exasperation out of his voice. “All we have left is marshmallows and a tin of conserved asparagus.”

“There are marshmallows?” Kitayama asks, sounding regretful that he didn't get to eat those on his own too.

“... I have some instant noodles?” Miyata offers and goes to dig around in his bag. “I always have emergency food in my bag.”

Tamamori rolls his eyes and comments something about “fucking otaku-food”, and Fujigaya is busy trying to do the math on how many calories there is in a marshmallow.

“Great, now we have marshmallows, a tin of asparagus and two packs of instant noodles.” Yokoo tries to sound positive and not let it show that his culinary side is in tears as he gets two packs of noodles from Miyata. There are anime characters on the wrapping and he frowns at the tiny bikinis the girls wear, seeing where Tamamori got “otaku-food”.

“That's not enough though, right?” Miyata asks, and Kitayama looks like he can't agree more.

“... Well, if we leave Mitsu out, we have to feed six people on this, so... No.” Yokoo says, looking at Tamamori and Fujigaya who doesn't seem very interested. “We need to find more food.”

“Like what?” Kitayama asks apprehensively, but Yokoo silences him with a look that says Kitayama could eat those insects and grass for all he cares.

“Fish perhaps. Mushrooms. Vegetables.” Yokoo looks at Fujigaya and Tamamori again, both with their phones out, and he loses his patience. “Since Taisuke and Tama didn't really contribute to the retrieving of water, why don't you try and get some fish?”

Fujigaya looks up at the mention of his name, and his eyes widen. “What!?”

“I hate fish. They stare.” Tamamori whines.

Kitayama snorts at that.

“You should.” Yokoo settles. “Do your best.”

“But Watta, I'm not touching a living fish, they're slimey and creepy!” Fujigaya almost yells. “How are we even supposed to catch one? I don't want to kill it!”

“Why don't you google it.” Yokoo says acidly and wonders why he feels like a mother of two teenage daughters suddenly.

Kitayama and Miyata laugh, so he quickly barks at them to go and find something else you can eat, wondering when the team spirit feels like showing up.

---

“Nika, we're lost, aren't we?” Senga asks, pushing a branch out of the way before stopping.

“No, I don't think so?” Nikaido turns to him and happens to snap a branch right in his own face, leaving a red mark on his cheek. “Ao!!”

“We haven't found anything that could be firewood and we're lost!” Senga whines, pouting at how horrible everything is right now, thinking he shouldn't have followed Nikaido after all.

“No!” Nikaido's eyes widen as he sees Senga going down the path that will lead to crying, and pulls him a few metres further, until they're in a small glade where the sun shines on grass. “Look, we're not lost, this is just where I wanted us to be.”

“Why would you want that?” Senga mutters, not convinced at all.

“Don't you see?” Nikaido smirks, he can't help himself, as he strips off his jacket and lays it out on the grass. “We're alone now. Just you and me.”

Senga's eyes widen slowly as he realizes what Nikaido's referring to. “But, Nika... We... Here?!”

Nikaido sits down on his jacket, grabbing Senga's hand to pull him down too, and ends up with Senga straddling his thighs.

“Why not?” He tilts his head cutely, and Senga figures they could maybe look for firewood and the way back later.

-------

Yokoo's just returned to the camp site with some mushrooms when he hears laughter approach. He knows that laugh, it's Fujigaya's rather annoying but still kind of cute someone-else-was-really-stupid-laugh. He sets the mushrooms down on a bag next to the future fireplace and looks up, seeing Fujigaya and Tamamori approach. Half of Tamamori is soaking wet and he's scowling, Fujigaya next to him with Tamamori's hoodie like a bag in his hand, laughing.

Yokoo waits for them to come closer before asking what happened.

“Tama fell!” Fujigaya laughs and Yokoo tries not to think of how cute he looks.

“I was catching the fucking fish!” Tamamori exclaims and crosses his arms. His jeans are dark with water all the way from his waist and down, with the exception of a patch on his left hip and down his thigh, and even his shirt is half wet.

“You should change out of that, you'll catch a cold.” Yokoo says, because he seriously will.

“I have no extra clothes!” Tamamori whines and Fujigaya laughs even more.

“... Seriously?” Yokoo asks with a sigh. “I'm sure someone does, go look in the tent.”

“Bet Miyacchi would like you naked.” Fujigaya calls after him and gets an indignant hmpf back as Tamamori disappears into the tent.

Yokoo turns to Fujigaya to sigh at him and ask what the hell even happened, but then he forgets to be angry when Fujigaya smiles at him. “We got a fish.”

He stretches out the hoodie to Yokoo, who accepts it and feels the weight inside that is not only water. He drops it carefully on the ground and removes some fabric to look at a fish. It's actually kind of big, and will do great for them to eat.

He looks up at Fujigaya, who looks like he expects praise, like a child after giving their parents his favourite drawing as a present.

“How on earth did you manage to catch it?” Yokoo asks because he had really thought there was no way the two of them would produce anything useful.

Fujigaya starts to pout at Yokoo's disbelieving tone, and Yokoo's pretty close to kissing that pout away when he hears Miyata. “Oh is that a fish?!”

He turns to look at the two others with food collecting duty, and finds Kitayama with a bamboo shoot in his arms and Miyata with some wild onions.

“Yes.” Fujigaya says proudly. “Tama body-slammed it.”

Kitayama bursts out laughing and Miyata looks around. “Where's Tama?”

“He's wet, he's changing.” Yokoo explains and retrieves the bamboo shoot from Kitayama just in case, not entrusting him to even look at their food anymore.

“If you hurry you might catch a glimpse of him naked.” Fujigaya smirks and Miyata seems to consider that.

“Leave him be.” Yokoo says. “By the way, haven't Nikaido and Senga been gone for more than an hour?”

They all look at each other.

“You're right.” Kitayama finally says. “It's awfully peaceful here.”

Yokoo is about to ask what his perception of peaceful is, but then changes his mind because he's kind of right. “Mitsu why don't you go looking for them?”

“Why me?” Kitayama groans. “Send Gaya or something.”

“No, I don't want you near the food more than necessary.” Yokoo says honestly. “Besides, you need the exercise after all that food.”

“What, I'm as fit as anyone!” Kitayama sounds offended. “You wanna look at my muscles?”

He's already pulling up the sleeve on his T-shirt to flex his arm muscles, and Yokoo notices Fujigaya's interested look, before stopping him.

“No, I do not, just get going.”

Kitayama complains some more, but eventually trudges off in direction of the forest just before Tamamori comes out of the tent, wearing a pastel pink silk pyjamas with candy print that is way too short for him everywhere.

Fujigaya bursts out laughing again, and Miyata tries to hide his grin.

“What is that?” Yokoo asks, trying to hold his own smile under control.

“Senga's pyjamas, I can't find anything else.” Tamamori sulks. “Mitsu has a pair of pants but I can't wear those, they're really tight and he's tiny.”

Fujigaya laughs so much he has to sit down on the grass.

“You know, if Nakajima Kento's solo was a piece of clothing, that would be it.” Miyata comments thoughtfully, and Yokoo can't contain his smile as Tamamori blushes and starts yelling at Miyata, while Yokoo's getting concerned about Fujigaya's ability to breathe.

----

Kitayama mutters to himself as he walks along the path he found when he got down the hill, wondering how the hell he's supposed to find Nikaido and Senga without getting lost himself. But, he figures, Nikaido should be easy to hear when he's within a 500 meter radius, and they can't have been stupid enough to just walk straight out in the bush. At least Kitayama hopes so, thinking that Senga's with Nikaido to stop his worst ideas.

He's also kind of hungry again, hoping Yokoo will have forgiven him when he returns and let him eat something. It's not his fault all the food he sees screams at him to eat it, now, hurry.

Kitayama sure hopes Nikaido and Senga actually managed to find some wood, or at least thought of doing something useful if they're lost and crying.

He stops when he suddenly hears a sound, frowning. He's not sure where it came from, or what it is, only hearing birds and forest sounds when he waits to see if it comes again.

It does, this time closer. “Kenpi, I'm telling you, we're not lost!”

Kitayama sighs in relief. That's Nikaido for sure. He can't hear Senga's response, so he figures they're still quite far away, but he frowns when he realizes it sounds from somewhere among the trees next to him. They really did walk straight into the bush.

“No, we're not gonna die out here. And stop fixing your hair, the trees don't care.”

Kitayama's eyebrows rise, but he decides to wait as Nikaido's voice is approaching.

“The others won't see it, we'll fix it before we get back.”

That really perks Kitayama's interest, but he kind of already knows what it means.

“We better, it's embarrassing.” Senga's voice is finally heard too, and Kitayama can hear movement too, steps approaching and verdure being pushed away.

“It's not.” Nikaido reassures, and Kitayama can see his figure among the leaves.

Kitayama crosses his arms and puts on his most unimpressed face as Nikaido finally breaks through the bush enough to see the path.

“Look Kenpi, the path! We're not lost any- Oh.” Nikaido starts a happy shout, but then sees Kitayama and falls silent.

Senga's little squeal of joy is also suddenly cut off as he peeks over Nikaido's shoulder.

“Hi Mitsu.” Nikaido says, like he hasn't been dragging Senga around the entire forest and doing indecent things, judging from both of their mussed hairs and a purpling mark beneath Senga's ear.

“Hi.” Kitayama says, unamused. “What the hell have you two been up to?”

Senga has shame enough to blush, but Nikaido only smirks smugly as they come out of the bushes to join Kitayama on the path.

“We got lost.” Nikaido suggests, and Senga lets out a small sound of protest.

“Nika, you said we weren't lost, you said we were just where you wanted us to be!”

“Is that so?” Kitayama can easily put two and two together and the whole scenario makes sense. “You know, there are a lot of small nasty creatures that can creep into your underwear if you take them off out here.”

Senga pales visibly, and Kitayama smiles as they exchange a look. “Now let's get some wood or Watta's going to kill us all. And Ken-chan, try and comb down your hair you look ravished.”

----

When the three of them return to the camping site with sticks and branches enough to make a bonfire, Tamamori's sitting on a jacket in Senga's pink pyjamas,with Miyata next to him.

“Hey, that's my pyjamas!” Senga exclaims, and Tamamori looks up.

“My clothes are wet, no one else had anything!” He whines, and Nikaido and Kitayama are laughing so hard there are twigs raining around them. Tamamori's clothes are hanging off sticks that are stuck in the ground in hopes of them drying.

Yokoo looks up from where he's stuffing the fish with herbs and wild onions. “Good, fire wood. Finally. What took you so long?”

“I think you'll have to ask Nikaido.” Kitayama answers seriously, and Nikaido glares. “He found another kind of wood.”

Yokoo's gaze immediately turns to Senga instead, who instantly blushes as Yokoo's eyes linger on his neck and on his hair that isn't entirely decent yet.

He simply rolls his eyes. “Nika, light the fire.”

It's not even please and thank you anymore, and Nikaido obediently drops the wood in his arms and sits down before the supposed fireplace, looking bewildered.

“And would someone wake up Taisuke? He's inside.” Yokoo adds, returning his concentration to the food, while Kitayama makes a loud sound of protest.

“What!? Why does he get to sleep?!” He yells, before storming into the tent to wake Fujigaya up in the worst possible way he can think of.

Tamamori and Miyata giggles and rises to observe.

Nikaido throws some small sticks together and grabs a bottle of something flammable that is next to him. Senga eyes him carefully, but then there's a groan from inside the tent and he really wants to go look too. He figures that Yokoo's here after all, he'll watch over Nikaido, and turns around.

Yokoo's barely noticed that Nikaido's even trying, but suddenly there is a tiny bang and there are small flames on the grass outside of the fireplace, and he barely has time to react before Nikaido's grabbed Tamamori's wet jeans and thrown them over the fire. Tamamori's brand jeans that probably cost at least 100 000 yen.

Yokoo opens his mouth, but then decides he's not even going to start, Nikaido's eyes flicking between the jeans and the fire in the fireplace rapidly. He did manage to light the fire where it's supposed to be too after all.

Tamamori yells enough at him when he gets back and sees what happened, informing Nikaido that those jeans cost 124 000 yen and that they're super rare and what's he going to wear now.

“Relax Tama-chan, you can sell them on eBay for twice of that to some crazy fangirl.” Miyata tries to comfort, but Tamamori only glares.

“You could probably get 500 000 if you say you've jerked off in them.” Kitayama grins and now Tamamori just looks scandalized.

----

Eventually, everything is ready for eating, and they're all sitting around the fire, and Yokoo thinks that it finally feels like they're a group. Kitayama got the smallest portion of fish with herbs, paired with some noodles with bamboo, mushrooms and asparagus, but he keeps eating from Tamamori's plate too so they shouldn't even have bothered.

Yokoo glances at Fujigaya next to him, and he's picking his asparagus away and only eats half of everything, making Yokoo roll his eyes.

“Hey, we should play a game.” Fujigaya suggests when he thinks he's done eating, and Senga automatically takes his plate and hands it to Kitayama.

“Like what.” Tamamori mutters, still in Senga's gay pyjamas but with Miyata's jacket over his shoulders.

“Like truth or dare.” Fujigaya smirks, and Nikaido makes an approving sound. Kitayama raises his eyebrows and manages something like “Seriously?” through his mouthful of fish.

“We don't have any booze though. Right?” Miyata says and looks around questioningly.

“We're idols, we don't need booze to do embarrassing things.” Nikaido says with a grin, but it's actually true.

“We can't even spin a bottle though.” Senga says and gestures towards the fire.

“Let's just do the truth. ... So Kento are you into roleplay or what, I've been wondering.” Kitayama says, effectively ending the argument, and it's Nikaido who chokes on his food. “Thinking about this whole Kenko-business.”

“Nah, not as a girl. But I would be if Nika would be Danno.” Senga pouts and crosses his arms, glaring at Nikaido who's coughing unattractively. “But he doesn't want to.”

“I don't think we should play this game anymore!” Nikaido manages finally, a little teary-eyed.

“What, you have any secrets Nika-chan?” Miyata grins and Yokoo elbows him. “What? It'd be fun to know.”

“I bet it's something kinky.” Kitayama says with a filthy grin, and Tamamori pales next to him.

“Ehm, I think I'm with Nika, we should do something else.” He says quickly, and Miyata tries and fails to hide his smirk.

“You all act like high school kids.” Yokoo rolls his eyes at them. “All you think about is sex.”

“So how often do you bang Fujigaya per week would you say?” Kitayama immediately asks and Yokoo grits his teeth because he should have known better than to say anything.

“More often than you get laid.” Fujigaya says with a grin and laces his fingers with Yokoo's, who can't help but let him do it. “We did it in your bed last week when you had us over.”

Yokoo raises his hand to his face, rubbing his forehead while wondering why he even likes Fujigaya.

“Yeah I figured, I could smell your cologne on my sheets for days.” Kitayama raises a challenging eyebrow and luckily Senga stops them.

“Oh my god guys can we do something else?!” He almost yelps, cheeks a little flushed.

“Yeah.” Yokoo agrees. “Please.”

Kitayama and Fujigaya still stare intently at each other, challenge lit in both their eyes, so Yokoo tugs at Fujigaya's hand while Tamamori tries to take Kitayama's plate from him to break both their concentration. Fujigaya blinks at Yokoo, eyes widening at Yokoo's pursed lips as if he didn't even think about what he'd just said.

“Let's tell ghost stories.” Kitayama says after he's snatched his food back. “Miyacchi you should have some good ones.”

“Uhm.” Miyata looks a bit uncertain, but then starts to tell some urban legend about a clown that is pretty creepy, and has Nikaido and Senga cling to each other like little girls while Tamamori shifts uncomfortably and inches closer to Kitayama.

“I've got a worse one.” Kitayama says after Miyata's finished and they're all a little more on edge, Fujigaya turning to look over his shoulder into the woods every other minute.

He starts on some horrifying story about a little girl and a dog getting lost in the woods, and Senga whines while Nikaido tries to discreetly cover his ears without anyone noticing. Tamamori looks uncertain whether he wants to lean closer to Kitayama since he's the one telling it, but does anyway since the other option is Nikaido and he's busy.

“I have the scariest one.” Fujigaya speaks up after Kitayama finished with a dramatical line, and actually makes Miyata jump in surprise at his voice. “Koki-senpai told me this, it sticks in your head and you'll never be able to forget it once you hear it.”

Nikaido makes a little sound that could be 'dunwanna', seemingly having abandoned his cool-protective-boyfriend façade in favour of being scared to death.

“Tell it.” Kitayama smirks, leaning back a little, glancing at Tamamori who's pretty much pressed against him and doesn't seem as interested in hearing it.

“Yeah.” Fujigaya makes a dramatic pause, looking around at all of them, before lowering his voice. “Nakamaru with long hair.”

Silence as they all stare at him for a second.

Then Kitayama makes a face as if Fujigaya'd just said he eats live kittens for breakfast, Miyata looks a little nauseous and Senga promptly bursts into tears.

“That's probably enough ghost stories.” Yokoo says firmly, as Nikaido who already holds Senga tight gently pats his head with a shaky hand, face pale.

“Told you I had the scariest one.” Fujigaya says, a little proud, until Yokoo gives him a pointed glance and then nods towards Senga, and Fujigaya's softer side takes over. “Look, sorry Ken-chan, it's not for real.”

“I can't unsee it.” He sobs, and Nikaido hugs him even closer, nodding in agreement with glazed eyes.

“It's okay.” Yokoo says softly. “Doesn't anyone have a nice story instead?”

“Nakamaru with short hair.” Fujigaya says simply, looking around to gather approval, which does come but doesn't really help the youngest ones.

“Come on, Tamamiya, don't you have one about My Little Pony or something?” Kitayama asks, turning his head to look at them from where he sits in between.

“Don't put our names together like that.” Tamamori whines, still hugging Kitayama's arm.

Miyata just shrugs and starts telling Senga about an episode from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and both Senga and Nikaido calms considerably.

“Let's go sleep, it's late.” Yokoo says when the episode is over and Miyata starts bordering a little on fanfiction.

“What, you're not my mom.” Fujigaya instantly protests.

“So what are you gonna do all night, play computer games and chat with hot girls?” Yokoo raises an eyebrow, and Nikaido breathes a little shaky laugh, while Kitayama coughs “boys, hot boys”.

Fujigaya opens his mouth to protest, but then seems to realize that the only thing he can do alone and awake is try not to get eaten by something.

They pack away the dishes and everything besides Tamamori's wet pants, and puts out the fire before retreating to the tent.

“Tama...” Senga says slowly. “I need my pyjamas back.”

“What?” Tamamori turns to him, wide-eyed. “But then I'll have to sleep naked!”

“Don't you wear any underwear right now?” Nikaido asks, at the same time as Miyata reminds Tamamori that they're sharing a sleeping bag.

Tamamori flushes bright red and Senga looks down at his pyjamas pants on Tamamori's legs as if they've been violated.

“No I'm not and don't touch me!” Tamamori finally bursts out, hiding his face in his hands.

“Can anyone borrow Tama a pair of boxers?” Yokoo sighs.

“I have a pair, but they're probably too big for you.” Kitayama says with a dirty smile that makes Yokoo bring his hand back to his face.

“Just give them to him.” He says, and everyone starts trying to figure out where they're sleeping.

Kitayama sits down in the middle and reaches out for Miyata's body pillow before creeping into his sleeping bag. “Nobody moves me or else.”

Tamamori steps outside to change, which seems to be really cold since he asks the wind why it likes his ass so much, and Miyata simply crawls into Tamamori's sleeping bag with a satisfied smile, waiting.

Yokoo figures that they'll manage the rest themselves, and decides that he can finally sleep, getting into his own sleeping bag, and Fujigaya quickly lies down next to him.

Tamamori returns wearing Kitayama's underwear, and hands Senga his pyjamas to quickly jump into the sleeping bag with Miyata, making Miyata shriek with how cold he is.

“Why do I have to sleep next to myself?” Tamamori whines, glancing at the body pillow with his face, that Kitayama half-lies on.

“Because it's Miyacchi's wet dream.” Nikaido grins while watching Senga change with an interested look.

“Noo.” Tamamori objects, trying to get further away from Miyata and the pillow at the same time, which just makes him look like a worm inside the bag.

Senga finishes changing, and he looks even more gay in the pyjamas than Tamamori did. He settles down next to Kitayama, throwing an arm around his waist, which makes Nikaido's jaw drop.

“Kento!” He almost yells. “You're supposed to cuddle with me!”

“But Mitsu's so warm.” Senga argues, glancing up at Nikaido guiltily. “We can all cuddle.”

“No we can't.” Fujigaya says loudly. “Because I'm the only one cuddling with Watta!”

Yokoo rolls his eyes just as Nikaido's narrow in challenge, and he squeezes in between Senga and Yokoo, laying his head on Yokoo's shoulder to glare at Fujigaya across Yokoo's chest.

“Please ladies.” Yokoo sighs and tries to shift, but it's too narrow. “We're all like sardines here anyway, let's just all cuddle.”

“If Mitsu could move the pillow we'd have more space.” Tamamori says from the other side of the tent, which is roughly two meters away but he sounds distant anyway.

Kitayama is of course already asleep, and it seems as if Tamamori tries to tug it out of his grip with little success.

“Watta, you cheating bastard.” Fujigaya pouts. “I thought you loved me.”

“Everyone loves everyone Taisuke, now shush and sleep.” Yokoo says and manages to get an arm behind both Nikaido's and Fujigaya's heads, and he secretly feels a little like a pimp rather than a mother since both of them are shirtless.

Eventually they all fall asleep, and even though Senga talks in his sleep and Nikaido kicks, everyone looks as well rested as one can after having slept seven people in a tent in the morning.

There are some morning issues, like Fujigaya refusing to even sit up before someone hands him a hairbrush, Tamamori whining about having no clothes and Kitayama simply not waking up, but they're all kind of used to it.

For breakfast, all they have left are marshmallows.

“I don't eat breakfast.” Fujigaya sniffs where he sits with a blanket over his shoulders and a hat over his hair, and Nikaido volunteers to eat his share.

Tamamori's gotten back into Senga's pyjamas since his jeans aren't wearable, and when he returns from behind the tent where he changed, he's got a handful of dandelions with him. “Look!”

Everyone looks at him where he stands, in a pastel pink pyjamas with a bouquet of dandelions and an excited smile.

Fujigaya breaks into laughter, and Nikaido and Senga joins in. “Tama you look like a five year old!”

“They're really pretty Tama-chan, but if you pick them they won't be pretty any more.” Miyata says, and he sounds so much like a dad that the three laughs even harder.

“That's not it!” Tamamori snaps, blush rising on his cheeks. “You can eat them!”

There's a moment of silence before everyone breaks into laughter, and Tamamori sits down next to Miyata to sulk.

Yokoo sends Miyata into the tent for his ordinary wake-up-Kitayama duty, and they both emerge shortly after, Kitayama with his hair sticking up in ten directions and grumbling about breakfast.

Meanwhile, Tamamori eats his dandelions, starting with the flower and chewing his way down the stalk, and he looks so much like a ruminating cow that even Kitayama (who's pretty much still asleep) snort a laugh when he sees him, and Nikaido, Senga and Fujigaya can't seem to stop at all.

After they've all had their ration of eight marshmallows, they start packing. Somehow, it takes a lot less time to take the tent apart and get things into bags than it took getting things up, but Yokoo suspects that has to do with the fact that everyone wants to go home. The conversations run along themes of what everyone's doing when they get home, and includes getting wasted at an izakaya and eat tons of food, buy new jeans, brush their teeth, sleep naked, take a bath, watch My Little Pony and just open the refrigerator and be happy about life.

In the end, Tamamori has to walk back to where the cars are parked in Senga's pyjamas and his converse, which looks ridiculous, and he sulks about it all the way.

“So, did we learn anything from this trip?” Yokoo asks when they're finally out of the woods.

“Never leave the food with Mitsu.”

“Don't trust Nika when he says he knows where you are.”

“Don't forget extra clothes.”

“Body pillows are good.”

“There is no phone signal in the woods.”

“I really like opening tins.” Nikaido smiles widely, and everyone turns to glare at him. “What?”

“That's it, we're never taking Sho-senpai's advice again.” Fujigaya says grumpily, and then squeals when he realizes he has a cellphone signal again.

Later, when Yokoo's driving Kitayama, Nikaido and Senga back to Tokyo, Kitayama speaks up. “I just wonder what Arashi did on their camping trip.”

~*~

Comments

[justironic.livejournal.com]

best idea ever

[nicnatha.livejournal.com]

Omg! I just laughed all the way down, starting from the thing with the pink leoprint tent! It was just absolutely funny!

Thank you for this it brightend up my day!

[h-itoshi.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you so much, glad it was fun! <3

[candypoop.livejournal.com]

Det här är det perfektaste jag läst på väldigt länge.
Simply perfect.

[h-itoshi.livejournal.com]

Haha hej, tack, kul att du gillar det x'D