Never Ever Let You Go [Oneshot]

[h_itoshi]

Title: Never Ever Let You Go
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP
Pairing: Takaki/Chinen, 5 sentences of Takaki/girl.
Rating: PG-15
Wordcount: 1103
Warnings: Unrequited feelings, angst and some kind of social disorder.
Notes: I am so sorry for writing this, I'm not even gonna talk about what happened here. Takaki's horrible, sorry sorry. I do love them both I promise.
Summary: "What's wrong with you!?" Chinen yells, cutting him off with pain in his eyes.

Takaki feels her hands clutch onto the fabric of his shirt as he leans in to kiss her, and he thinks that revenge is pretty sweet. There's music beating so loud he can hardly think, flashing lights colouring the dance floor pink and blue and green as they move to the beat, as close as the crowd presses them together.

Their lips touch and Takaki tilts his head, letting her lead because he can't help but glance to the side out of the corner of his eye. It doesn't help him much though, but he knows Chinen's watching him. He always is. He smiles into the kiss and focuses on it, but then he's jerked out of it by a hand grasping his upper arm. The girl frowns, looking offended, but then her eyes widen as she sees the ferocity in Chinen's eyes as he glares at Takaki before starting to pull him along outside.

Takaki's lips curl into a smirk because he knows he succeeded, knows that Chinen got the message that Takaki didn't like the girl that was desperately flirting with Chinen earlier and kept crawling closer to him.

Chinen drags him out the back door, and as soon as they're out in the night air, he draws a long breath, the fight draining from his features and he slumps, hugging himself, but doesn't speak.

"Hey, Chi..." Takaki starts, gently, but the anticipation already starts building inside him.

"What's wrong with you?!" Chinen yells, cutting him off with pain in his eyes. "You clearly reject me but then you're a jealous fucker as soon as I come close to someone else anyway? I haven't slept with anyone in over a year for your sake, but you, you can go about banging anyone you feel like while I'm supposed to just handle it!"

"I've never forced you not to sleep with anyone else." Takaki tells him calmly, something inside his chest tightening so much at how pretty the younger boy is when he's distraught that it's almost difficult to breathe.

"Practically! Going all 'not sure I'm okay with that' and 'who's she, you're not seeing her are you' and so on!" Chinen goes on, making a pretty good impression of the possession in Takaki's voice as he speaks, eyes glossy with unreleased tears and Takaki bites his lip in anticipation. "If you don't want me, stop getting my hopes up anyway by being so jealous of anyone else I see!"

"I can't help it." Takaki says, stepping closer. "I don't like their ingratiating smiles or roaming eyes or hands on you, I'm sorry, but I don't. It's disgusting how they do anything to get you into their beds."

His voice turns a little fiercer the more he speaks, and it is true. He wants to punch everyone Chinen's as much as touched straight in the face, and he's not sure whether the feeling is possession or jealously. He just knows that he can stop them, and he also knows that he abuses that power.

"Have you ever considered..." Chinen pauses to swallow, glancing away and a pink neon light flashes by his face and glitters in his eyes. "That maybe I want to get into their beds? Maybe I need something too, maybe I can't stay like this and be miserable, maybe I just want to forget sometimes! It's been so long since I kissed someone that I can't even remember what it feels like!"

He bites his lip and draws a shaky breath, and a first tear rolls down his cheek and it's beautiful, making Takaki step even closer.

"Chi..." He says softly when Chinen refuses to look at him, reaching up to put a finger under his chin to raise his head again. The thing he should say right now, about being sorry and for him not to cry doesn't come over his lips though, because he can't make himself lie about that. Instead he steps closer, so close they're almost touching, and Chinen glances at his lips and then up at his eyes, looking completely helpless and it's so gorgeous Takaki doesn't know what he's doing.

He tilts his head a little, expecting Chinen to do something, but he just stands still, closing his eyes and breathing a ragged sigh against Takaki's lips. Takaki's hands find his waist, unconsciously adding a little pressure to release some of his feelings and leans in to brush his lips against Chinen's.

It's hardly a touch, just a brief contact enough to leave Takaki's lips tingling from the tease, but then Chinen speaks against his lips, voice small and pained. "Please no."

"No?" Takaki asks, withdrawing just far enough to lean his forehead against Chinen's, hands on the younger boy's waist pulling him a little closer.

"No, just don't, please." Chinen repeats airily, eyes still closed and brow furrowed in what looks like pain. "I can't."

"Are you sure?" Takaki mumbles, stunned that Chinen rejects him, and he knows he's not playing fair when he trails his lips along Chinen's temple and lets his hands caress their way to the edge of his shirt and just an inch underneath. "Don't you want this? You're trembling."

"Of course I want this. So much." Chinen manages, barely a whisper, eyes opening and his look is so wounded Takaki almost feels bad. He would, if Chinen wasn't so goddamn gorgeous when he's hurting. "But not like this, I'd never piece myself together again. Don't you care about that?"

Takaki doesn't answer that question, because right now, he doesn't. Instead he noses at Chinen's hair, fingers trailing his spine over his shirt and he can feel the younger shiver in his arms. "Why don't you hate me?"

"I want to, so bad." Chinen says, voice shaking now, and then there are hands on Takaki's chest that shoves him back, and Chinen stares at him with betrayal and tears in his eyes and still Takaki doesn't regret a thing. "But I can't, because I love you. And you don't even give a damn."

He turns around and walks back inside with hurried steps, and Takaki follows instinctively. It's just that when he catches up with him, Chinen's not acting like nothing happened like he usually does, but throws himself into the nearest pair of arms he can find, which happens to be Inoo's, and bursts into tears, burying his face in a stunned Inoo's neck and Takaki's so jealous he can't help but glare.

He's not really surprised when someone punches him straight in the face, but he is a little surprised that it's Yamada who does it.

~*~