My Only One [Oneshot]

[h_itoshi]

Title: My Only One
Fandom: Kis-My-Ft2
Pairing: Nikaido/Senga
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 5750
Warnings: A little angst?
Summary: It's been almost five months, and still it feels like just two days ago.

Notes: So. This fic is actually emergency fic, because you know how you have 3 months or something to write an exchange and then nothing turns out how you want it? That happened. So I started this the same week as deadline, stumbled across a prompt and this came pretty naturally. I could write a novel of notes on this but I'll refrain for everyone's sake haha.
For dancerdreams2 in the wakamono exchange~

Nikaido watches Senga from across the room, watches him try to dress Kitayama in these ridiculous necklaces. He's so pretty when he's smiling, so genuine in his attempts to make Kitayama wear the necklaces that are so big he'd look drowned in them while Kitayama just brushes him off with a laugh.

He's pretty and genuine and it hurts.

“Hey Nika, wanna go get snacks?” Miyata asks suddenly, and Nikaido looks up from creepily watching the two across the room, looks up at Miyata's gentle smile and he kind of wants to scream a little but he doesn't.

“Yeah, why not.” He shrugs and stands up, following Miyata out the door and into the corridor in the hunt for a good vending machine. “I don't have any money on me though.”

“I <i>might</i> be able to pay for you, as long as you don't want everything. I have figurines to buy you know.” Miyata grins and Nikaido can't help but smile back even though he's still piecing together the little crack in his soul that Senga's smile brought forth.

He's both thankful and mad at his groupmates for knowing exactly how to make him smile and stay together just when he wants to break into a thousand pieces.

“Don't you have enough of those 2D girls?” He asks and shoves at Miyata, having seen the very impressive collection a few times against his will.

“Technically, these are 3D girls. I will have enough when Tama-chan has enough clothes, that's the deal.” Miyata says determinedly while Nikaido rolls his eyes, because if there's anything that's certain it's that Tamamori will never ever stop shopping. He'll probably still be going to brand stores with Fujigaya when they're old men with canes and look at flashy jeans. The thought has Nikaido snorting a laugh despite himself, and he feels his heart slowly healing back to normal.

“And there's the vending machine!” Miyata cheers as they turn a corner, and digging out a handful of coins from his pocket. “I have... 700 yen, go nuts.”

When they stroll back with kit-kats and some chips, Nikaido feels fine again. He can even look at Senga for the rest of the meeting and not feel anything weird at all, and that's as fine as he ever gets.

It's been almost five months. It feels crazy thinking about it, because that is such a long time and still it feels like it was just two days ago. But it is almost five months since that time Senga told him to just fucking leave him alone and walked away.

Their relationship hadn't been the most stable to begin with, Senga more sensitive than Nikaido would ever understand and Nikaido too stubborn to admit to being wrong or even being hurt. It complicated things, but Nikaido had never thought of it as something that would actually have them breaking up. They had so much other things, positive things, how much fun they had and all the stupid things they did, and Nikaido only had to wake up with the scent of Senga's hair in his face and warm skin under his hands to forget everything bad that ever happened. But somewhere, things started to crack at the edges. The irritation of misunderstandings didn't fade quite as quickly, sensitive things became more sensitive because of it and some really sensitive buttons were eventually pushed on purpose just to gauge reactions. It was too gradual for Nikaido to really notice it until it was wearing him out.

But he never considered that it might end. Senga was his everything and had been so for years, and even if life with him might be a struggle sometimes, it was a struggle he was prepared to keep fighting. Except that Senga wasn't.

He tries not to think about it. About the things he said and the things Senga said, because it twists up into his brain like poison activating feelings of anxiety and regret and horror, and everytime he ventures into those thoughts he backs several steps on his recovery staircase.

Their groupmates have been more than they deserve, Nikaido sometimes thinks. Even though there had been looks at the beginning, a hint of scared or accusing 'I told you so' looks after all the repetition on the dangers of dating a groupmember, they've all been so supportive of both of them. No one took any sides. They just tried to keep both of them on their feet at first, and Nikaido knows it wasn't easy.

Himself, he was a mess who would explode into random yelling at the tiniest provocation, and Senga did the same except he started crying. The most difficult thing was that they had to deal with each other.

Literally the day after Senga left they had an interview together, and nothing has ever been as difficult in Nikaido's life. But somehow, he thinks, he had something to live up to. All those years of “no of course we won't break up” or “of course it won't affect the group” gave his stubbornness something to grab on to and it probably saved him.

He wasn't going to let this ruin his group. He wouldn't let five others down because he was apparently a shitty boyfriend. And even if he'd never had to face his ex everyday from the day they broke up before, he did it.

Senga seemed to work on the same strategy, acting his best within the group and avoiding talking to Nikaido as well as he could.

It's better now, Nikaido thinks as he sits down on the couch and glances over at Senga again. He doesn't hurt every time he sees Senga, he can breathe when he smiles, can control himself enough not to get upset every time Senga looks at his phone and smiles.

It's better, but it's not good. They still can't touch. Nikaido can't touch Senga without his world breaking down a little, some days even has difficulties smelling his cologne. He tries to tell himself it's the fact that they're still so up to date with each other that's slowing down the healing process. If he could have just walked out and removed Senga's number from his phone and his existence from Nikaido's life, maybe he would have been fine by now.

But Senga is still very much his every day. He knows when Senga cut his hair, knows his latest hobbies and things that happens in his family because that's how a group works. They tell each other things.

The worst thing is, that he knows this won't end. This won't end, because he misses Senga so bad.

He misses talking to him, understanding him and that safety they'd had in knowing so much about each other, of being so close.

He misses making him smile. And that's the thing that convinces Nikaido that he's so not over them. Wonders if he ever will be. But he copes, most of the time, and the few relapses he has late at night crying into his pillow nobody needs to know of.

“Hey, Nika.” Fujigaya plops down in the couch next to him later that afternoon, looking as unfabulous as Fujigaya ever gets in sweats and bangs swept back while still looking ten times better than Nikaido himself. “You wanna come out on Saturday? Kawai has been nagging me for ages to gather you guys because apparently we never see each other. I suppose every other day doesn't count for him.”

Nikaido frowns because going out is not his favourite thing and Fujigaya never usually asks him. “Who's going?”

“All of us, hopefully, and all of them.” Fujigaya says casually, and Nikaido can tell from the tone that Fujigaya is ready to fight for this to happen.

It takes him a moment longer to realize that “all of us” means that Senga is coming and his body does this weird thing with a wave of uncomfortable dizziness.

Fujigaya is watching him closely and can clearly tell it happens. “Sure, Senga's going too, but there will be eleven other people there and you never come out anymore. You can't sit locked up at home and rot while you're still young.”

“I don't rot.” Nikaido mutters and shoves at him, trying to think of a way to say no that Fujigaya will accept. But he kind of already knows that resisting is futile because he's never managed to outsmart Fujigaya this far in his life.

“You do. Soon you'll smell mouldy and it'll be gross.” Fujigaya snickers while Nikaido glares, then takes on a serious tone. “Come on Nika, I'll buy you shots I promise.”

That does sound nice. “... I have nothing to wear.”

“Bullshit, I'll come over and help you get dressed.” Fujigaya decides, nodding once as if to settle it. “Shall we say around eight? I'll bring food and maybe Watta.”

“I...” Nikaido starts, trying to protest, but Fujigaya just pats his shoulder with a smile and rises to go look at himself in the mirror.

Nikaido sighs and leans back in the couch, feeling defeated even though he knows it's probably for the best. Damn groupmates.

Five past eight Nikaido opens the door for a brightly smiling Fujigaya and a not quite as brightly smiling Yokoo. Fujigaya looks stunning as he does, fluffy hair and sparkly jewellery and fashionable jeans, while Yokoo is more casually dressed but really handsome.

“We brought food!” Fujigaya announces and holds the take-away bag that smells delicious up high to show it off.

Nikaido's spent his early evening debating whether to call in sick or say he'd been invited somewhere else or just plainly say his sister died or something, but then figured the last one was too much and the others were just really bad excuses.

He hasn't really been out since they broke up. Clubbing was Senga's thing more than his, since Senga loves dancing more than the world, and he's had some difficulties thinking about it without thinking about Senga. But in the end, clubbing is Fujigaya's thing more than anyone's, and you can't escape forever.

In the end, after an hour of angsting face-down on the couch, he decided to just give in and let Fujigaya do as he pleases. Because it would happen anyway.

It feels a bit better as he sits on the couch and eats while Fujigaya chatters on about deciding where to buy food and that Yokoo was being difficult about it. Yokoo just rolls his eyes with a grin and says that food is important, you can't just buy anything.

Nikaido just nods to agree, and even though he sees Fujigaya frown at his lack of talking, there's no pointing it out.

“We also brought beer.” He says instead, reaching into another bag and placing a can before Nikaido with a mischievous grin. “Drink a lot so I can convince you to wear what you should wear.”

“And what is that?” Nikaido asks, suspicious but not really scared as he does as he's told. The worst that can happen is that he'll look like a bag.

“Hot stuff~” Fujigaya sings, and then Yokoo changes the subject by questioning the brand of beer that Fujigaya bought.

It's nice hanging out with Fujigaya and Yokoo like this, and after a while Nikaido feels more comfortable with this idea, even a little excited. It would be nice to sit around and talk with friends and just feel confident and attractive. Nikaido knows it's the combination of alcohol and Fujigaya's encouragement that does it, but it's just what he needs right now.

He even agrees to dress down to his underwear before his closet that looks like a bomb exploded in it while Fujigaya tries finding something decent in the mess that is left. Yokoo sits on the bed and nods or shakes his head like a sophisticated judge.

In the end, Nikaido gets dressed in a long sleeved black jersey shirt that he didn't even remember he had but has a really nice neckline, and a pair of dark jeans that's bordering tight but only if you squint.

“I can't believe you don't wear that shirt more often.” Fujigaya scolds him when Nikaido stands before the mirror and tries to make his hair do something good. He really needs a haircut.

“I didn't know I had it.” He shrugs in response, grinning at Fujigaya's incredulous face. “Must be something I've bought because someone else told me to.”

“Well, it wasn't me because I wouldn't forget it.” Fujigaya says promptly.

“That's true, he knows everything I wear that he made me buy.” Yokoo agrees, looking a little bored with how long it takes Fujigaya to be satisfied with Nikaido's looks.

“Clothing is important.” Fujigaya turns to look at him with a pointed raised eyebrow, and Yokoo just laughs.

It's well past ten thirty when they leave, and Nikaido feels pretty good about himself. Fujigaya keeps smiling and telling him he's pretty, and if Fujigaya smiles everyone smiles so it's impossible to stay negative.

The place is packed with people, of course, but Fujigaya smoothly manoeuvres them to a booth where half of their own group plus Kawai, Hasshi and Tottsu are happily drunk and pretty loud.

“Gaya where have you been?!” Kawai starts as soon as he sees Fujigaya, effectively breaking whatever conversation he had with Hasshi, who just makes a face and turns to Miyata instead.

Kitayama and Tottsu are snickering together about something that Nikaido assumes is immature, so he decides to sit down with them.

Kitayama lays an arm over Nikaido's shoulders in greeting but doesn't stop laughing, and Nikaido grins because Kitayama's laugh is contagious. Fujigaya drags Kawai out of the booth and loudly asks who wants shots.

Three shots and some beer later Nikaido is convinced Fujigaya's trying to get him shitfaced considering the short period of time he's been served these things. He doesn't mind as long as Fujigaya is prepared to deal with the consequences of it and help him home if he can't do it himself.

He's actually having fun, mostly recalling old tour pranks from Ebikisu days with Kitayama and Tottsu and occasionally bullying Fujigaya some because that's how things work.

He's not even fazed at first when someone sits down super close to him until there are arms force hugging him in the middle of a joke and he chokes a little.

“Nikaaa!” Tamamori calls happily almost in his ear, and he's definitely drunk already. But Tamamori is pretty and he never normally has to pay anything for himself when they're out so go figures he's drunk. “You came!”

“I'm here!” He agrees, and even as he tries to free himself from the tangle of arms he's laughing.

“You look good!” Tamamori goes on, but eventually lets him go and leans back, and Nikaido's smile freezes. On Tamamori's other side is Senga, bangs wispy with sweat from dancing, a smile on his face as he communicates with Yokoo across the table and he's wearing a goddamn tank top.

Nikaido registers all the things like how pretty he looks and that his arms are so nice to look at and that he's smiling, but still his brain doesn't manage to work with anything else than panicked shock because he wasn't prepared for Senga to just <i>show up</i>.

He feels a nudge from his other side and turns to see Kitayama's grin as he goes on with the story of Tsuka-chan's stolen underwear like nothing happened.

The distraction works, and Nikaido can smile at the story again.

“What are you talking about?” Tamamori whines and his head falls on Nikaido's shoulder. “I want to have fun too don't exclude me!”

Nikaido laughs and leans back to make it easier for Tamamori to join in on the conversation. It's just that Senga does too.

It's okay, now that Nikaido is mentally prepared, he can even cope with the things Senga brings up from tour even though some of them hints at how they were a couple back then.

The difficult thing about Senga, is that speaking to him is so natural. Nikaido easily slips back into habits and sometimes they're really close on finishing each others sentences or he already knows what Senga's going to say as a comment to something. It's difficult because he knows it shouldn't be that way anymore.

Still, he tries not to think about that as Tamamori stumbles away to get girly drinks with Fujigaya and suddenly Senga is next to him without the conversation changing.

He smells really good and it hurts Nikaido's heart a little, and he's drunk enough to look at the pink and green and red lights flashing over Senga's skin highlighting the muscles of his arms.

“And then Nika asked him what that is, and he was so shocked, I'll never forget that facial expression!” Senga laughs, pulling Kitayama and Tottsu with him, and Nikaido realizes he's been too busy looking that he didn't hear what they're talking about.

“It's not that easy!” He defends himself no matter what it is he didn't know, and Kitayama pats his shoulder while Senga smiles and shakes his head.

“It's okay, you're just not very smart.” He says, and even though it could sound menacing or mocking, it comes out a completely different way. Soft and almost affectionate, and Nikaido's response is more reflex than anything else.

“I love you too.” He says, tone just half serious, but Senga's smile dies immediately and Nikaido can see the hurt and confusion in his eyes for a second before Senga's composed himself and set a less real smile on his face.

“Everyone can't be genius like me after all.” Kitayama grins, and Tottsu bursts out laughing in a way that is definitely mocking, but Nikaido knows Kitayama noticed what just happened.

If he hadn't been sure he definitely is when it only takes two minutes after that before Kitayama announces he's officially drunk enough to dance and tells Senga to come along.

His seat is quickly filled as Tottsu comes closer and Hasshi follows, thoroughly distracting Nikaido by out of nowhere starting to discuss how octopus babies evolve.

Fujigaya keeps floating between their table and the dancefloor, and somehow Nikaido thinks that he also knows what happened since the next shot he brings is definitely stronger than the other ones this far.

“Sometimes I think my group is conspiring against me.” He says out loud after having downed the killer shot. He's speaking up in the middle of debating if it's an octopus or squid that has ten arms, but apparently his comment was the more interesting one.

“Why?” Tottsu asks, frowning a little at him.

“I don't know.” Nikaido says honestly, he's not James Bond or something. “I just feel like they talk about me and agree on how to proceed.”

Hasshi's looking like this is very interesting insider information. “Proceed how? Like, what are they doing?”

“Bringing me stronger alcohol after I screw up.” Nikaido gives the only example he has, and Hasshi seems to consider that a great idea and asks Tottsu if they can't have that system in their group too, which has Kawai loudly starting to protest.

Nikaido feels eyes on him then and looks up across the table to see Miyata watching him with a small smile, and Nikaido startles, having completely forgotten someone from his own group was still here to hear him.

“What?” He asks defensively but he's not sure Miyata can hear him across the table. “Gaya and Mitsu are clearly talking to each other with news about me!”

Miyata still has that smile he has sometimes, kind of like he looks at Tamamori when he's trying to be cool, but he doesn't get a chance to say anything before Fujigaya shows up and orders them all to go dance or they'll fall on their faces when they stand up later. Besides he needs protection from creepy girls.

Nikaido almost falls straight on his face when he stands up, questioning what the hell was in that last drink, but as soon as he's standing up it works better than expected.

He follows Fujigaya out to the dancefloor, but looses him in what feels like two seconds. He considers turning around, but catches sight of Kitayama a little further away and figures that works too. He makes his way there with only minor difficulties, and Kitayama doesn't notice him until Nikaido is just next to him, close enough to only be okay because of member love. Kitayama turns to him with a frown, clearly about to tell whoever is pressing against him to fuck off, but his features soften when he realizes it's Nikaido and backs enough for Nikaido to have room to move.

Dancing is kind of fun, especially when it's not choreographed, Nikaido thinks. Choreography is cool, but it's always so elaborate and timed and hours of practise, while dancing to shitty club music is just easy. He's got better moves than the average guy anyway and that's enough for him.

He notices the scent first. He must be drunker than he thought since he didn't even consider that Kitayama would be dancing with Senga. But when he turns now, Senga's right there next to him, rolling his hips and smiling and looking drunker than he did last time Nikaido saw him. To the point where he would tell Senga to maybe go have some water if he was still the one who's job it was to tell him.

Senga appears to notice him about the same second that Nikaido does, but his eyes doesn't even widen in surprise, he just smiles and turns a little to be able to see him properly.

Nikaido knows it's a bad idea. He knows that he can handle talking because there are others around that can help him, but dancing with Senga at a club can only mean trouble. Yet he can't resist.

Senga is so good at dancing that you can't really look away, and when he's drunkenly smiling as well it's impossible. The nagging thoughts of maybe leaving is at the back of Nikaido's mind as he lets Senga come closer, grinning like it's just a game, like those he plays with Kitayama or Tamamori or Fujigaya. But the responsible thoughts can't overcome how good Senga smells or how he's radiating heat and <i>smiling</i>, like there is absolutely nothing wrong with this and this is how things are supposed to be and Nikaido wants to believe it.

They're kissing before Nikaido can even register that either of them leaned in, the feel and taste of Senga's lips against his so so familiar and that's what wakes him.

He pulls away, heart thumping loudly in his ears and he can't really hear the music anymore, his breathing quick and shallow and he only catches a glance of Senga's equally panicked expression of 'shit what did I do' before stumbling away.

He needs air, and probably water and to sit down and all that stuff, but his mind is buzzing with the feeling of kissing Senga, lips feeling over-sensitive and itchy even though the kiss only lasted for a moment.

A hand grabs his upper arm and keeps him upright, firmly guiding him towards the exit, and Nikaido doesn't turn to even see who it is until he's outside the entrance and turns to cry into Miyata's T-shirt.

It feels good that it's Miyata, because he's so grounded and safe and makes things so simple, and he just holds Nikaido tight and lets him cry. Miyata doesn't ask questions or tries to make him talk about how he's feeling, just helps him home in silence and declares that he's staying the night because he missed his last train.

It helps that he's there, it keeps Nikaido from drowning himself in the shower or too seriously consider jumping out the window, and he manages to fall asleep without thinking too much in the end.

The next morning, Nikaido feels like shit even though Miyata wakes him up with coffee. The hangover is not so bad, but he's really pissed at himself for what he let happen and that his heart is now just scattered pieces somewhere inside his body and it'll take him weeks if not months to find them and put them together again.

He doesn't know who kissed whom. He's not sure if he did it or if it was Senga, and that proves to be the most dangerous thing, because his mind keeps turning it over and over because what if <i>maybe</i> Senga misses him just as much. What if Senga's not over them either.

He's tried to think that Senga doesn't want anything to do with Nikaido anymore. Tried to think that he was dumped, because that's the easiest way to get over it. But now he's doubting that idea even though he doesn't want to doubt it, instead keeps thinking that maybe Senga thinks this whole thing was a mistake. Or maybe just that yesterday was the mistake.

His thoughts are messy and depressing and he's not really listening when Miyata talks about trivial things, but he's thankful that he does. He wouldn't have gotten out of bed if Miyata hadn't been here.

He also wouldn't have gotten to work even though there's a tour planning meeting. At least it's not a photoshoot or variety filming, he thinks as he walks through the corridors with Miyata, because he looks really bad.

The mood in the group is generally tired, but nothing else is expected after a night out. Fujigaya complains that he didn't get home until the first morning train and Yokoo happily tells him to blame himself. Fujigaya argues that the blame is on Kawai, and Tamamori kind of agrees with a small snore where he's half asleep on Fujigaya's shoulder.

He lights up when Miyata walks into the room, demanding that Miyata come sit next to him so he can sleep on someone fatter than Fujigaya. Miyata as usual only hears the hidden compliment that he's more comfortable and happily complies, letting Tamamori cuddle into a comfortable position against his side.

Kitayama's got his head pillowed on his arms on the table, clearly asleep, and Nikaido doesn't mean to look at Senga, but he's there and he can't help himself.

Senga looks nothing like he normally does. He's not smiling, looking more like someone drained all the energy from his body, and his expression is serious as he meets Nikaido's eyes without looking away.

Nikaido is the one to break their eye contact because it's weird and not how things are supposed to be. They avoid each other, that's how they get through. Avoid thinking about each other and trying to push awkward or weird situations away and forget them.

So Senga can't just look at him earnestly like that, really look at him without pretending he doesn't. It's against the rules.

Nikaido has never been so thankful for their managers arrival and the meeting starts.

Yokoo and Miyata brings the most ideas to the table, considering they're the least hungover, and the rest of them get scolding looks. Except maybe Fujigaya who's very good at not looking so affected.

The only one getting worried looks is Senga, and not just from their manager.

When the question about choreography comes up Senga doesn't even react, and when their manager asks him if he wants to do some choreography, he just shrugs and says sure.

He's clearly distracted, and Nikaido can feel Senga's eyes on him more often than not, which makes him super aware of everything he does. It's unsettling and he tries his hardest not to look at Senga, wondering what's going on.

When the meeting ends, Senga seems very intent on talking to Nikaido, so Nikaido hurries to get out of the room before Senga can even open his mouth.

He doesn't know what Senga wants to tell him, but he can't take another rejection. He can't hear that yesterday was a mistake and can we just forget about it and never go out together again. He normally thinks he's a strong person, but that might do it for him.

He flees home as quickly as he can, deciding to do nothing but watch TV and comfort eat and feel sorry for himself on an acceptable level. Not lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling apathetically for hours in a row.

But he only has time to change into comfortable clothes before the doorbell rings. He frowns, because no one just shows up without calling first, and against his better judgement he opens the door.

Senga looks back at him, a determined but scared look on his face as he grabs the door as if to make sure Nikaido won't slam it in his face.

“Hey, look, I'm sorry, but we need to talk about this because I can't handle it anymore.” Senga says, and it's been so long since was just the two of them with Senga actually addressing him that Nikaido is a little taken aback. “Please let me in.”

Wordlessly Nikaido steps aside, arguing with himself that no matter what Senga wants to say he shouldn't do it with the front door open. His mind is spinning on high speed, trying to work through what's going on and how to prepare himself for it, at the same time as he allows himself to look at Senga without looking away. He looks tired, as if he hasn't been sleeping for weeks, and his movements are nervous as he takes a step inside and stops, not removing his jacket or shoes or anything.

Nikaido stays quiet, waiting, because if there's anything he's learned it's that he should shut up when he doesn't have anything to say.

“I'm sorry.” Senga says, voice much steadier than he looks. Nikaido waits for more but it doesn't come.

“... Sorry for what?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest as if to physically protect himself from Senga's words.

“Sorry for what I'm going to say.” Senga explains, taking a deep breath like this is the most difficult thing he's done in his life, and Nikaido braces himself. “I'm sorry, but I miss you so much and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried everything from ignoring you to indulging it and looking at you from afar, but then you smile at someone else and I can't breathe through the jealousy, and nothing works, I still feel just as bad. And then yesterday you... you said you love me and I know it was just a reply but I... I felt it so much that it hurt. Then we kissed and I realized that I can't do this, I'm not getting over you and there's no point in trying. So I figured... I should tell you that, and if we can't work something out then maybe... I should just...” He sighs deeply, and Nikaido stops him before he can say the last word.

“No.” He says so fiercely he surprises himself, but he can't let Senga say it, because they're only Kisumai if there's seven of them and he can't let that happen no matter what. Senga's eyes widen at the tone, and he bites his lip, clearly waiting for Nikaido to say something, react to the mass of words he just let out.

But words are not Nikaido's strong point, especially not when he's so confused with feelings that he's not entirely sure he's even standing up, so he simply steps forward and wraps his arms around Senga so tightly he can't escape even if he wanted to.

No matter what Senga says, there's always the possibility that he'll change his mind, remember how much things sucked and decide it was stupid after all, and so he holds on so that Senga can't go.

But Senga hugs him back, clinging to him like he can't come close enough, pressing his face into Nikaido's neck and Nikaido feels a little sniff he's clearly trying to conceal.

“You can't be right all the time.” Senga says against his skin, his tone warning despite being on the verge of crying. “You have to say sorry when you're wrong.”

“You can't overthink everything.” Nikaido counters, talking into Senga's hair while he tries to accept that this is even happening. “If I say something I mean it.”

“Deal.” Senga mumbles, squeezing Nikaido a little tighter before loosening his grip.

“Deal.” He agrees, and he doesn't know who initiates the kiss this time either.

It sounds ridiculous but it feels a bit like coming home to kiss Senga, the familiarity better than any new and exciting feeling he could ever get, as if those five months never even happened. It doesn't end with one kiss, turns into two and three and several, and Senga's outerwear and shoes are peeled off somewhere along the way.

Senga's the one grabbing Nikaido's wrist and drags him to the bedroom, and Nikaido just grins because he doesn't know what else to do as an outlet for all this relief. It turns into a laugh when Senga pushes him down on the mattress and growls something about that damn shirt he wore yesterday and that his life would be so much easier if Nikaido was less attractive.

There's no more talking after that, just pulling at clothes and lips pressed against hot skin, and nothing has ever felt so good before.

"I think our group planned this." Senga mumbles later where he's lying on Nikaido's chest.

"Sounds like something they would do." Nikaido agrees, thinking about Fujigaya forcing him out.

"You know who made me come here today? Miyata." Senga says, sounding almost upset about it. "He told me that I would be stupid if I didn't talk to you. Have you ever heard him call anyone stupid?"

Nikaido laughs at that, thinking that even though they fight and bully each other a lot, their group really is great at taking care of each other. And he hopes that in another 7+ years, these five months will only be remembered as a stupid lapse of judgement.

~*~