h_itoshi | Where My Heart Belongs [Oneshot]

Title: Where My Heart Belongs
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP
Pairing: Hikaru/Inoo
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4476
Warnings: None. AU, long distance relationship.
Summary: Even if he never thought distance would be easy, it's not something you get used to either.
Notes: Okay so I started writing this a year ago, then never got around to finish it. I really wanted to write something mostly fluffy but a little heartache-y about a long distance relationship, and I felt these two were fluffy and heartache-y enough. I'm actually pretty satisfied with this fic because damn do I know what it feels like living like this.

Hikaru glances down at his phone on the table, but there's no notification of any new message, so he turns his attention back to what Daiki and Yabu are discussing loudly over lunch.

"No way, you are way too short for that!" Yabu laughs, and Hikaru joins him, not knowing what the conversation is about but since it's a height joke and Daiki purses his lips he assumes it's funny.

"There are short successful people in this world! Not everyone has to be fucking avatars like you two!" Daiki defends himself fiercely.

Hikaru's phone vibrates, a small green lamp flashing to notify him, and Hikaru zones out of the conversation, trusting Yabu to think of a good comeback.

I tried to cuddle Takaki, but he wasn't very compliant. I don't think he loves me anymore T . T

The message says, and Hikaru grins.

I'm sure he does, there was probably some hot girl passing by. I'll cuddle you, I promise.

"No, your mom is." Daiki threateningly points at Yabu with his chopsticks while Yabu's laughing so hard he can't focus on eating.

"... I shouldn't have trusted Yabu with the comeback, right?" Hikaru asks as he looks between them.

"Probably not." Daiki agrees and they leave Yabu to regain his breath while continuing to eat their lunch.

... He's still shoving at me, I'm not convinced.

You better, we're going out on Friday and I might end up flirting with everyone due to lack of physical contact D:

Hikaru sets his chopsticks down to write a reply, and even though he knows Inoo's just teasing him, there's an obligatory sting of jealousy.

As long as it's only flirting it's okay. I'll see you soon, remember? Contain yourself a little longer.

"Hika, what are you frowning about?" Daiki inquires with his mouth full of rice. "Loverboy mean to you?"

Hikaru rolls his eyes but smiles as he sets his phone down, feeling a little guilty about not paying his friends enough attention. "Nah, just a little... I don't know... We're seeing each other soon."

"Riiiight." Daiki grins. "As if we'd forgotten."

"16.42 next Friday was it?" Yabu asks Daiki in mock concern.

"Yeah I think so." Daiki agrees and Hikaru grins, a little embarrassed. "And he's staying there 'til Tuesday?"

"Yeah, but we don't want to think about that." Yabu reminds him.

"Okay okay, I get it guys." Hikaru waves them off. "Sorry, I just don't have my lover across town like someone else I know."

He gives Yabu a pointed glance that makes him shrug with a sheepish smile.

"And then there are those with no boy- or girlfriend at all!" Daiki adds just as pointedly.

"I do wonder why." Yabu asks sarcastically just the same second Hikaru says "You're open to having a boyfriend now?"

Daiki shoves at Yabu, who cackles at his own comment. "Fuck both of you."

"Well, if you insist Dai-chan. You're not really my type though." Hikaru shrugs, and Daiki just rolls his eyes while Yabu agrees that Daiki's not really his type either. At all.

"Keep mailing your boyfriend." Daiki tells him, then effectively switches subject by asking what the hell Yabu's even eating.

Hikaru smiles at Yabu's offended expression before glancing down at his phone again.

I'll try my best, I'll probably just end up crying on Takaki's shoulder as usual anyway. 9 days <3

Just 9 days <3

He replies, and still he feels like there have never been nine longer days in his life. Even though he knows he feels like that every time.

He met Inoo in one of those ways people don't meet for real. He was in Tokyo with two other friends to go see a concert, and clearly those friends were losers at reading maps because they ended up getting lost, and were still lost when the time for the concert was getting disturbingly close.

With twenty minutes to go, they gave up on manly pride and google maps and decided to ask for directions.

And there he was. Hikaru stopped Inoo before getting an actual look at him, getting halfway through his question before trailing off, busy just looking at the man before him, at his soft questioning smile, fluffy princess-wavy hair and dark eyes. Luckily Inoo had been wearing headphones, purple, and clearly hadn't heard anything Hikaru said as he quickly took them off and apologized for not hearing the question.

Hikaru collected himself and asked for the address they were looking for, and Inoo's face lit up, asking if they were going to the concert, and when they all agreed, he said he was going too and that they might as well make company.

They did, and ended up going to the concert together, then out to eat afterwards, and then karaoke half the night. Hikaru spent a lot of that night walking into things since he couldn't seem to look away from their new companion. Especially not when he smiled. Especially not when he smiled at something Hikaru said.

The four of them clicked immediately, but Hikaru was so enchanted he almost forgot he had other friends with him, which they of course teased him endlessly about as Hikaru latched onto every single thing this new guy said. He was also the only one to immediately remember his name. Inoo Kei.

At the end of that night, which Hikaru had done his absolute best to prolong as much as he could, Inoo asked for all their mail addresses in case they'd come to Tokyo again, and there was a messy exchange of addresses and names and phones wandering. While Hikaru's friends were busy pretending to exchange numbers with each other, which was apparently hilarious after some all-you-can-drink, Inoo handed Hikaru's phone back to him and a little shyly told him that if he wanted to mail before he came to Tokyo next time, that was fine too.

And so Hikaru mailed him when he woke up the next morning.

After that, they mailed constantly for three weeks, and Yabu and Daiki were harassing Hikaru from day one about who this guy was and if he was in love, since he kept spacing out during classes and smiling at nothing.

Hikaru wasn't very late to admit that yeah, he probably was in love. At least crushing really hard. The difficulty about that was that he wasn't sure Inoo had the same preferences as himself. Daiki took one look at his picture and assessed that yeah, definitely gay, which Hikaru tried to subtly confirm for a while before giving up and simply asking Inoo if he had a girlfriend. When the answer was "Haha no, thought you'd already figured I don't like girls" Hikaru felt like his birthday had come early even though Daiki was insufferable for a couple of days.

They decided to meet over the holidays, and even though Hikaru's mom thought he was completely crazy offering a guy he'd met once and barely known for three weeks to stay in their house for a week, Hikaru did offer Inoo to stay at his place to save money, which he happily accepted. The Shinkansen isn't very cheap after all.

They kissed the second night. Hikaru'd brought Inoo out to meet the friends he had with him to Tokyo, who were happy to see him but kept sending Hikaru knowing looks with more and more wiggly eyebrows the more alcohol they had, and in the end Hikaru had to kick one of them under the table to keep him from making kissy faces. When they got home in the middle of the night, they weren't entirely sober, Inoo kept giggling and Hikaru kept stumbling, and somehow while they were about to fix Inoo's beddings, Hikaru found himself with his arms around Inoo's waist and a pair of lips against his own. Inoo slept in Hikaru's bed for the rest of the week, and if Hikaru's mom noticed, she didn't comment.

They didn't really talk about it until just when Inoo was leaving, bag slung over his shoulder at the train station with the sun in his hair, and he smiled shyly and asked Hikaru how they were going to continue from here, pointing out the distance between them. Hikaru promptly told him that he didn't care about distance if Inoo didn't, and also added that if their meeting wasn't faith, he didn't know what the hell was.

Inoo just smiled and hugged him so tightly Hikaru couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

He thought he was subtle about the change, but Daiki and Yabu immediately started questioning him about how he and Inoo were going to cope with the distance and if they were official, and even Hikaru's mom carefully asked if there had been something special about that boy. When Hikaru burst out that he thought he was acting normal, she hugged him and told him that people in love smile a certain way.

That was a year and a half ago, and even if he never thought distance would be easy, it's not something you get used to either.

His phone vibrates again, and his heart aches a little with longing when he reads the message.

How is it that nine days can feel like such an eternity?

~*~

“Takaki!” Inoo calls in the direction of the bathroom, holding his phone above him while lying on Takaki's bed. “Why are you tweeting about boys? Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“No!” Takaki calls back from the open door. “Don't talk to me, I'm trying to do my hair!”

“Can I use your snapchat?” Inoo ignores Takaki's request as he sees Takaki's phone charging on the bedside table. He's bored and already styled and a tiny bit drunk, and Takaki's taking ages to get his hair ready.

“No!” Takaki replies again. “Shut up!”

Inoo ignores him again, and takes Takaki's phone instead of his own and unlocks it, entering the application and turns the camera so that he sees himself. He pouts a little and takes a selfie that looks pretty slutty with his hair spread over the pillow, but that's good. He just writes “waiting for babe” and then sends it to every girl in Takaki's contact list. And Hikaru. Mostly Hikaru.

“What are you doing?” Takaki calls from the bathroom. “You're too quiet!”

“Using your snapchat!” Inoo replies and grins at Takaki's cursing about not touching his things. “You take too long!”

His own phone chimes to announce a message and he leaves Takaki's phone alone.

Quit sending your photogenic sex face to everyone Takaki knows.

It says, and Inoo laughs out loud, making Takaki question him enough to come to the doorway, hair flawless like it's been for the past ten minutes, eyes narrowed at him.

“My boyfriend agrees with you.” Inoo explains with an innocent smile.

“See? Maybe you should listen to us.” Takaki rolls his eyes but grins before he returns to his place before the mirror. “I'll never get a girlfriend while I have you.”

I only sent it to the girls besides you?

“Of course you will.” Inoo says, comforting. “They'll just have to accept me first.”

They're really close, Takaki and him, having known each other for the better part of a decade and basically growing adult together. As adult as you can be at 24 years old and studying.

“You sound like my mom.” Takaki groans, finally leaving the bathroom properly. “Are you done?”

“I've been done the past fifteen minutes.” Inoo tells him with a pout, but sits up and hands Takaki his phone before looking at his own.

Doesn't matter, girls have hormones too. Besides, aren't you making Takaki seem really gay?

Inoo looks up at Takaki with a raised eyebrow, looking at his perfect brown hair, discreet eyeliner and tight jeans.

“Come take a selfie with me.” Inoo demands, and Takaki looks suspicious but sits down next to him on the bed.

“Who are we sending it to?” He asks, but in the next breath; “How should we look?”

“Hikaru, gay.” Inoo answers both questions, then puts on his best easy-homosexual face while Takaki leans in to kiss his cheek.

He sends the picture to Hikaru with the text “I think he does well on his own.”

Takaki thankfully doesn't see it, instead runs around his tiny apartment to find his keys and money and ID while his phone chimes with replies to Inoo's message, and probably a few mails from their other friends asking where the hell they are.

… That's probably true xD Also would you stop sending me selfies when you're gorgeous? It's frustrating.

Inoo smiles a little, because even though he wouldn't admit it that's half the point of sending Hikaru slutty pictures. He likes feeling wanted after all.

It is pretty frustrating living so far from each other. It's not like it's really that far either, the Shinkansen takes three hours, but it's time and money that's the issue. Inoo studies and has a rent to pay that he merely has money for, and Hikaru studies and works a part-time job, and so he doesn't have time. They do meet every three months or so, but they can hardly ever stay for longer than a couple days, except during the holidays when they're not really separable.

It's just that the whole relationship becomes a bit different when most of it is through a screen on a telephone. For example they don't know each others families very well, and Inoo knows there are everyday things about Hikaru that he doesn't know of, things that he does by habit or facial expressions he makes, doesn't know what he's like when coming home tired and cranky from school or work. He's only seen part of it. Still, he feels like he knows Hikaru better than any of his exes before him, since they talk literally every day and keep track of each others schedules and friends and what they're doing all the time. But it's tough too. Having to fight over the phone for example, or hearing Hikaru sad and not being able to hold him, or sleeping alone every night, or just wanting to see him so much it hurts and he can't.

Send me one of you.

He asks, even though he knows Hikaru's going to protest because he's not nearly as much of a camwhore as Inoo himself. In a way, Inoo likes that though, because the few pictures he sees of Hikaru in between that they meet always ignite things inside him, longing and want and happiness and god knows what. They're not even special pictures, just a normal selfie, but it doesn't matter because it's Hikaru. While Inoo sends more pictures, he tends to vary himself a little all the way from cute and normal to slipping necklines and hooded eyes, just to make Hikaru tell him that he's hot and pretty and all kinds of things that sound so good as soon as it's Hikaru saying them.

But I'm not gorgeous right now, I'm about to go to bed?

Inoo rolls his eyes, because he knew it, and Takaki calls for him to hurry up and get his shoes on.

Please~?

He manages before he has to hurry to the hallway and get his outerwear on, forcing Takaki out the door before he starts fixing his hair in the hall mirror, complaining that Takaki's worse than every gay guy Inoo knows.

They're on their way to the train when he gets Hikaru's picture, a bit poorly lit, but he's topless and wearing his glasses, a small, slightly embarrassed smile on his lips as he looks a little to the side. As usual, looking at his boyfriend makes something burst inside of Inoo, and he nearly stops walking as all he wants to do is run his fingers over that bare skin, tangle hands in the dark brown strands and kiss him until he can hardly breathe.

“Kei-chan?” Takaki asks, eyebrows raised when Inoo looks up guiltily. “Come on, we're gonna miss the train!”

Inoo smiles apologetically and hurries his steps, offering to tell Takaki why he'd slowed so much, but Takaki just tells him he doesn't want anything to do with their porn, and Inoo laughs.

Safely on the train, Inoo writes a reply while Takaki mails the rest of their friends.

Babe, I miss you so fucking much and you are so pretty.

It's so true, and he feels that he probably guessed correctly earlier this week when he told Hikaru he would most likely end up crying on Takaki's shoulder tonight. He probably will.

I miss you too. Don't take it out on random dudes okay?

“Kei-chan, why do I have three upset snaps wondering what the hell I'm playing at?” Takaki asks dejectedly and Inoo smiles, leaning his head on Takaki's shoulder.

“I told you, they need to get past me first.” He smiles. “Remember, girls love gay guys, I'm an asset to you.”

“Yeah you keep telling me that, yet I never really see the good side.” Takaki mutters, but Inoo knows that he's just playing.

“You mean like last time when I got you laid by basically sitting in your lap so girls think you're bisexual?” Inoo suggests.

“I distinctly don't remember that.” Takaki claims, and Inoo grins, typing another text message.

Nah. The only one I want to hear “hey gorgeous” from is you.

~*~

Hikaru shifts in his seat and can't quite keep his heart from beating faster, which is ridiculous because there's nothing to be nervous about. Still, every time he looks at the clock displayed at the end of the train car his heart jumps because it's approaching his arrival time. It doesn't help that his pulse has been doing this for the past forty minutes. It's nothing compared to the first time he went when he was nervous like this from the second he sat down on the train, but it's still annoying that he's this anxious after time like... six.

He can still easily count how many times they've met in real life, and maybe that's what's keeping him anxious. That it's something special seeing each other for real, something that he's looking forward to so much it hurts at the same time as he's terrified something would have changed drastically somehow, and those feelings combined makes him unable to sit still when he's counted days for months, and it's finally time. Just another 8 minutes.

There's an announcement in the speakers that they'll be arriving at the train's final destination soon, and Hikaru simply gives up trying to calm down and lets his heart race as much as it likes.

He picks up his bag when he recognizes his surroundings, even though the lady who has the isle-seat takes ages to put on her coat and collect her several shopping bags and purse. It's irritating to the point where Hikaru kind of wants to help her stand up, because his body is high strung on anticipation and he just wants to get off this train and be able to relax.

Eventually, the train stops, and Hikaru almost laughs at himself for being so eager to exit. His nerves are a little worse since he hasn't heard anything from Inoo today, since knowing they'll see each other makes it feel less worth it to write, kind of. But it makes him a little nervous, stupid thoughts like “what if the date is wrong” or “what if he's not there” rushing through his head.

Then he feels a vibration in his pocket and pulls out his phone to look at it, the mail a preview on his screen, and he smiles, all ridiculous nervousness washed away immediately.

I'm not late at all, I swear. I'm here now anyway!

Hikaru waits impatiently while the old lady before him leaves the train in what feels like slow motion, and then he's finally on the platform, legs a little stiff and the fresh air feeling like heaven after hours on a train. He knows which way he's supposed to be heading, but remembers the first time when he was terrified of getting lost by walking the wrong direction. He managed though, after figuring it was just a matter of calming down enough to read the signs.

He follows the main crowd, walking behind a mother with two little kids but quickly passes the old lady, and his heart is beating in anticipation as he doesn't know exactly what to look for.

He's not difficult to find though, hair a little longer than it has been before, princess-wavy and fluffy, red trenchcoat and a striped scarf as he stands by the entrance to the escalators, waiting. Hikaru's whole chest tightens a little as he recognizes his boyfriend, and he can't help but grin like a moron.

Inoo smiles too, that sweet smile that almost looks a little mischievous and is not nearly as stupid as Hikaru knows his own is, and it makes his heart flop around in his chest for a whole different reason than before.

Inoo steps a little out of the way of the crowd when Hikaru approaches, and Hikaru doesn't hesitate before dropping his bag and taking him into his arms, holding him tight finally, breathing in the scent of him, the mix of hair products and cologne and detergent that is his boyfriend and it warms his entire body.

“Hey.” Inoo mumbles in his ear, arms wrapping just as tight around Hikaru, and it's so good hearing it in his voice rather than seeing it on a screen.

“Hey.” Hikaru mumbles back, still smiling while nosing at Inoo's hair. “Your hair is really long.”

“You already knew that.” Inoo says, still smiling, withdrawing from the embrace enough to look at him, a hand finding Hikaru's and none of them care that people give them weird glances. “You dyed yours.”

“You knew that.” Hikaru replies, teasing, raising a hand to stroke Inoo's cheek softly. He's so pretty.

“Yeah. But it looks different in real life.” Inoo tells him, twirling one of Hikaru's brown strands around a finger with a look that gives Hikaru way too many feelings. “And it's awesome, you definitely work light hair. You should try blonde.”

Hikaru laughs and pushes his hand away. “You're crazy.”

“No, I'm serious!” Inoo puts on a serious face to support his words. “But it's okay, we can fix it, just let me get you drunk and we'll have your hair bleached while you're here.”

Hikaru laughs and shakes his head, pretending to wonder why he loves this boy. “Let's go home.”

Inoo smiles, nodding, and his eyes sparkle a little. “I love when you say that.”

~*~

Inoo barely lets go of Hikaru's hand long enough to let him pass the ticket control, then stays as close to him as he can possibly be without having people outright stare, and the crowded train is a good excuse to get even closer.

“Perhaps I should put on some mascara and wrap my belt a little tighter around the waist, then people would mistake me for a girl.” He muses as he stands with his head leaning on Hikaru's shoulder while the train rocks them back and forth.

He feels Hikaru's shoulder shake with his chuckle. “Nah, I wouldn't like you as much then.”

“... Are you saying you'd like me less with make-up?” Inoo picks out, and if he can say so himself he makes a pretty good upset-girlfriend-imitation, raising his head to look accusingly at Hikaru.

Hikaru just smiles and rolls his eyes as he shoves a little at Inoo's shoulder and tells him to knock it off, and it's so familiar that Inoo can't help but break his acting face with a grin. It's so simple, so easy to fall into everyday behaviour with Hikaru after just a few moments. The only difference between meeting Hikaru and any other friend he sees everyday is that he can't seem to be close enough to him, ever.

He leans his head back on Hikaru's shoulder and sighs at the scent of his hair and cologne, then lowers his voice. “Wish I could kiss you the moment we meet instead of waiting until we're behind a closed door is all.”

Hikaru smiles, but Inoo can feel the way he tenses for a second, then his voice comes out just as low while his fingers tighten on Inoo's. “Well, behind a closed door you can do a lot more.”

Inoo shivers at the words, because even though Hikaru's said a lot filthier things to him over a phone line or in dirty mails, it's different because he's right here, strong arms and lean torso and warm skin and he's so fucking attractive.

“I will.” He promises, adds a sweet smile because Hikaru loves that, and the ride to his apartment has never felt this long, even though he's sure he felt the same way last time as well.

It's not like they're that desperate, really. They wait for months and could wait longer if needed. But it isn't needed, because they're finally at the same place.

“Aren't you hungry?” Inoo asks with a smile when Hikaru drops his bag on the floor in the hall and then cups Inoo's face in his hands, outerwear still on and everything. “It's almost seven.”

“Not really.” Hikaru smiles back, and Inoo doesn't have a single protest when Hikaru leans in to kiss him.

The rest is a mess of undressing and moving and heated touches charged with longing for each other for months. This is something that inevitably happens, an outlet of frustration and loneliness that they have to get out before they can go back to normal and not rush. But, Inoo thinks as he twists fingers in Hikaru's hair, bringing his head down enough to kiss his neck and feel his breathing against his shoulder, he doesn't mind at all. It's so good to feel him so deep inside that Inoo's left whimpering because it's everything he's wanted for so long, and he thinks that Hikaru's so beautiful and perfect and that he loves him so much.

Afterwards, he gets to pet Hikaru's hair and trace fingers along his spine to the small of his back while Hikaru cuddles him and he never wants to leave his bed again.

They have plans for the coming few days, meeting Takaki and going clubbing and shopping and lots of other things, but right now, he's staying right here and not letting Hikaru go anywhere.

They end up ordering take-out.

~*~

END