Time Doesn't Heal [Drabbles]

[h_itoshi]

Title: Time Doesn't Heal
Fandom:  Hey! Say! JUMP
Pairing: It's a bit vage but it's meant to be Daiki/Yamada
Rating: R for mentions
Wordcount: 3 x 150
Warnings: Angst, post-break up
Notes: Since I'm a horrible person this is inspired by the Maji sunshine making orz. I don't know. Don't ask. I'm sorry.

Sometimes it just happens. It's not meant to, but sometimes they're laughing and playing around and then they're hugging the wrong way, their faces are too close, or they're suddenly laughing at something only they understand. The looks are quick to come, different from everyone in the group. Judging, warning, upset, awkward or nervous, but they speak their clear language. Stop it. Don't let him see. I'll pretend I didn't notice.

Most of the time they realize the situation before anyone needs to remind them that they can't do that anymore, but some painful times it takes a cold look for them to part. A cold look that reminds of how much a single relationship can ruin several others. The cold look of hurt and worries, worries that maybe they're still loving each other and what does he even do here.

Looks that hurt for everyone, just in different ways.

~*~

He's pretty. Tall, dark hair, a mischievous smile that suggests too much. He's pretty, and sometimes it's good to just forget. He's a little too intense with his tongue but his touch is perfect, warm and admiring and it's easy to agree to going home with him. He's talking about himself some while smiling that smile, says that he likes photography and that he has a cat, but who cares.

The sheets smell clean but the detergent isn't appealing, but it doesn't matter because there's a weight over him and hands spreading his legs. Those hipbones are sharp and dig into his inner thighs, to the point where he thinks he might even get bruises, but he doesn't complain because he's finally sleeping with someone. Who cares if it's good as long as he gets a moment of euphoria where he can forget the one he really wants above him.

~*~

They're over. Since years, and lots of things has happened since then. Daiki's happy now, happy with his boyfriend since months, and Yamada's business is not his to care about anymore. But he cares, he cares when Yamada smiles like that at someone, when he's drunk and makes eyes at handsome men around him, when he mentions someone he's dating.

And he knows that behind the caring there are feelings of some kind hidden, and they make him think the wrong things and make the wrong decisions sometimes.

And when he finds himself in a couch at a home party with a beautifully drunk Yamada crawling into his lap, leaning in to whisper filthy things in his ear with hot breath, things like no one's made me feel as good as you and please Daiki and just for tonight, he knows his decision is wrong, but he can't help it.